Letters
by SamieWinchester
Summary: Sam dying. John singing. Dean and Caleb threatening people. Plus Letters to Brotherhood characters during Sam's time at Stanford. Plz R&R. Because Feedback is awesome no matter which kind!
1. Dean

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

Summary: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

A/N: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this.

Chapter 1 Dean

Dean,

Hey, umm… really don't know what to say considering the way I left but, I wanted to let you know that I am sorry.

I know this doesn't mean much and you probably hate me already so I'll just say what I've always wanted to say but never was able to because of your aversion to "chick flick moments."

Please read this and don't just glance and then throw it out.

You're my best friend, my brother, my hero and yes even my father. I don't know if you realized that but you are. You always made sure that I was safe even if it cost you your own health. That is why I left.

I can't stand seeing you get hurt because of me. No matter what we were hunting you would always jump in front of me, so much actually that you almost died on several occasions. I won't be able to handle it if you died because I'm not strong enough to protect myself.

I won't be answering any of your phone calls because you don't need me anymore big brother. Take care of yourself for a change.

Love,

Sammy


	2. Caleb

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

Summary: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

A/N: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this. Thank you to my wonderful beta Flaming Telepaths I heart you!

Key:

_ thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 2

Sam sat up quickly. He glanced around the room and sighed.

_Dean is fine. He's away from you so he's safe. Calm down and go back to sleep. _

Grunting, he stood up and made his way to the bathroom.

"Sammy."

"Dean?" Sam looked around frantically. "Dean?!"

'**Sa…y' **

"DEAN!"

"Sam?" Jess flicked the hall light on, "What's going on?" Sam stared at her then ran out of the room.

"Jess?" He seemed surprised to see her, "Wha… I need my phone." He jumped up from the wall that he had collapsed against in surprise. Frantically he located his phone and dialed a number he had dialed many times before.

_**Ring Ring**_

_Pick up. Come one. Pickup_

_**Ring Ring**_

_Come on you bastard pick up_

_**Ring**__Ri- _

_Yes_

_This is Dean Winchest-_

"Damn it!" Sam screamed and immediately dialed another number.

_**Ring Ring**_

_Please Please Please_

_**Ring**__Ri-_

"Reaves," Sam let out a sigh of relief.

"Caleb! Thank God!"

"Sammy? What in the hell do you want?" Sam cringed at the anger that Caleb hadn't bother to try and hide. It hurt Sam to know that Caleb was pissed that he had hurt Dean like he did by leaving.

"Dean," he said meekly. Caleb sighed on the other end of the line.

"What do you want Deuce for? He's kind of busy right now."

"He's okay though, right?"

"More than okay Runt. What's this about?"

"Where are you guys?" Sam asked while pulling on his jeans. After he got them on he looked around for a shirt and pulled it over his head.

"Dallas. Why?" Caleb asked becoming frustrated. He wished Sam would hurry up and get to the point. The hot girl on his lap was making it harder for him to concentrate.

"What hotel?"

"The Adolphus. Why?"

"I can be there in twenty three hours. Do not leave!" He said forcefully, throwing clothes out of his dresser and searching for his weapons. He was confused, why did he think something was wrong? And why was he hearing Dean calling for him?

"God dam nit Sam! What in the fuck is going on?" He pushed the girl away from him as he focused on the conversation. Quickly he looked over at Dean and the redhead in the corner. _Nope, still safe._

"Just stay there. I'll see you soon."

"Sa-"

"And Caleb," Sam interrupted. Don't let him out of your sight."

"Sa-" Sam hung up and sighed, looking at Jess. He walked over to her and gave her a quick hug.

"Jess, I got to go." She stared at him as though she were seeing him for the first time.

"Sam what's going on? You never even talk about your family. And now you call them and go running to them in the middle of the night!" Sam stared at her for a moment then started packing his clothes into his duffel. Jess stared helplessly after him.

"Sam, will you just wait a minute?" Sam just turned and walked out the door. As the door shut, he paused and looked at it. A single tear ran down his cheek as he turned and walked away knowing in his heart that he will never see her again.

Caleb,

Listen, before you crumble this up, let me ask you a question. What is your earliest memory? Was it of your mother singing to you? Your dad teaching you something? What do you think mine is of? Is it involving you, Dean, Dad, Pastor Jim, Bobby, Mac, Missouri, or even Joshua? No, it is of opening my eyes and seeing the demon standing above me. Of my mom running into the room and being pushed onto the ceiling. Of her screaming as her stomach was slashed open and Dad running in. Of her blood dripping down on me and then seeing fire swallow her up.

I know you all think that I don't remember it, but dam nit Caleb I can't stop remembering. At least the rest of you have good memories of your mothers before they were taken from you, but I don't and you all punish me for it.

But that's not why I'm writing this. Things are getting worse. I have been hearing you and Dean in my head sometimes and I think I have been moving things with my mind. I'm guessing you aren't even reading this because I hurt Dean again like I always do. So I'll talk to you if you decide to respond to this.

-Sam

TBC...

Plz Review...Really, press the little button down there and leave a review.


	3. Pastor Jim

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

**Summary**: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

**A/N**: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this. Thank you to my wonderful beta Flaming Telepaths I heart you! Sorry for taking so long but I was on Thanksgiving break.

**Key**:

_thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 3

Morning arrived as Sam pulled into an empty parking lot. He quickly got out of the car he'd stolen and started toward the hotel across street, careful not to be seen. Caleb, as far as Sam could tell, was keeping watch while Dean slept off a hangover. Smiling gently at the thought, Sam walked toward the room he had sensed the other two in, all the while bracing himself for the fight that would surely happen when they saw each other. Sam came to a stop in front of room 401 just as Caleb opened it and stepped outside.

Anger swept through Caleb when he saw Sam, but after taking in Sam's appearance he let out a sigh and pulled him into a quick hug. Caleb wondered what had happened to make this 6'4" container of energy look so small. Sam looked like he hadn't eaten, slept, or bathed in days. His usual shaggy brown locks were matted down against his extremely pale face, huge bags were underneath his bloodshot eyes, and his normally baggy clothes sagged even more and he swayed slightly.

"Shit Runt," he said pulling Sam into the room. "What in the hell happened to you?" He led Sam to the empty bed and watched as he sagged gratefully onto it. A startled gasp behind them quickly alerted them to Dean's return to consciousness. Sam watched carefully as Dean took in his presence, before realizing that his brother wasn't hurt.

_Thank God!_ Sam thought as he breathed in the smell he always associated with Dean, safety, and home.

_Sammy?! Oh no, something happ… _Dean's thoughts were cut short as a large solid body flung itself at him and latched on. For a moment, in his disoriented state, he thought a black dog or werewolf had snuck up on them until he heard a choked sob and realized Sam had flung himself across the bed while he was distracted. He shot Caleb a startled look while wrapping his arms around Sam's trembling body. Caleb shrugged and moved closer in case Dean needed something. Clearly the older hunter didn't trust Sam with Dean anymore.

"Shhh… Sammy. C'mon baby brother." He whispered and ran a hand through Sam's hair, "It's okay. Whatever it is I'll make it better." Caleb unconsciously clenched his fists at this. "It's okay, Captain Onehelluvabigbrother is here," and just as it had as a child, Sam calmed down and pulled back blushing. Dean gave him a bright smile and put a hand on Sam's shoulder signaling that he wasn't mad. Caleb gaped in disbelief at them. He knew how Dean reacted after Sam had left. He became self-destructive, and Caleb had just got done pulling Dean back together. And now Sam comes waltzing back in like nothing ever happened! Dean will probably fall apart worse when Sam finally leaves again!

_Damn it Deuce! He hurt you so badly, why are you forgiving him so easily? Especially since we don't have any idea why he's here!_

"He's my brother," Sam said, hearing Caleb's thought. He hadn't even realized that the man hadn't spoken.

Dean was confused," Okay random, what was that about?"

"Caleb just said…" He trailed off, realizing what had just happened and blushed, but the embarrassment faded into confusion. "Didn't you guys get my letters? I explained everything in them," he told the two. Caleb and Dean looked at each other and comprehension dawned on Dean as he stood up and began pacing.

"That son of a bitch!" he screamed, "They were from Sammy! Of course they were. Why else would he take them from Jim before he could give them to us!" Now it was Sam's turn to be confused.

"Who?"

"Dad! Who else?" Dean continued his furious pacing, "Damn him!"

**-Crunch-**

Sam and Dean looked over at Caleb, who had his left hand imbedded into the wall. Now it was Caleb's turn to be embarrassed. He hadn't meant to do it but John made him so angry at times. And now he purposefully did something to keep Sam and Dean apart when Sam was reaching out, he is ready to throttle John. Mentor or not.

"Umm…"

Dean raised an eyebrow, while Sam smirked. "It's alright Damien," Dean said.

"Yeah it was an evil wall. You had to take it out," Sam continued as he went to the bathroom to retrieve the first aid kit. As he walked back out into the room everything went fuzzy. Dean and Caleb looked up just in time to see Sam hit the floor.

"Sammy!"

Dear Jim,

It's been a while hasn't it? Please don't be mad at me. _Please._ I need at least you to not be mad at me.

The last few weeks have been more difficult than leaving Dean was. I've been hearing things I shouldn't be hearing. It's Dean and Caleb. They're in my head sometimes and I can't figure out why!

I sent letters to Caleb and Dean, but I only explained the telepathy thing to Caleb, only because Dean would worry and probably microchip me to keep me safe. He also is the only one I trust, besides Mac, to help me with this. Maybe I should have gone to Missouri instead? Since they haven't responded I am asking that you don't tell them about this.

Now onto the less serious but equally important stuff. How are you? The farm? Everyone? I miss you all; yes-even Josh (though I'm as confused as you are about that one.)

Do you remember that summer when my grandfather took me away? How everyone was so happy that I was back. Do you think that'll happen this time around?

Things are happening Jim. They are going to get bad and I can't stay here while it happens and do nothing. I'm leaving school and coming home. I need my family if I am going to get through this. Please call me and let me know if I still have a family.

-Sam Winchester

650-555-3780

TBC...

Plz Review...Really, press the little button down there and leave a review.


	4. John

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

**Summary**: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

**A/N**: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this. Thank you to my wonderful beta Flaming Telepaths I heart you!

**Key**:

_thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 4

Last time:

…"Yeah it was an evil wall. You had to take it out," Sam continued as he went to the bathroom to retrieve the first aid kit. As he walked back out into the room everything went fuzzy. Dean and Caleb looked up just in time to see Sam hit the floor.

"_Sammy!"_

Now:

"Sammy!" Dean screamed shaking Sam to rouse him, "Sammy wake up!" Caleb was forcing himself to remain calm. He just couldn't believe this was happening. The three musketeers together again, just for one to collapse for no reason and give the other two both heart attacks. Caleb shook himself from the thought as Dean picked Sam up and carefully laid him on the bed, not once asking for help from Caleb. A thought hit him and he began to search frantically for his phone, quickly dialing once it was located.

"Ames." Mac answered expecting John to call him and Jim for a ritual for the hunt he was currently on.

"Dad!" Caleb responded and Dean looked up hopefully, like he expected a miracle to happen mow that Mac was on the phone.

'Caleb?" Now Mac was confused. He had thought that his son was with Dean having fun after their hunt.

"Dad, he collapsed! We don't know what's wrong with him." Caleb ranted when the smelling salts he put under Sam's nose didn't work. "He's not waking up!"

_Sammy? Come on man wake up! _ Dean continued to stare down at Sam, stroking his hair from his face. Dean watched as Sam tensed in pain and after a few seconds unclench. Dean was instantly reminded of the time Sam was poisoned by Duran and his dear Elvira wannabe, tears flooded his eyes at the thought that Sam might die and there is nothing that he can do about it. _I'll fix this baby brother. I promise. _Caleb watched as the tears ran freely down Dean's face.

"Caleb? Who collapsed…? Is Dean okay?"

Automatically Mac tried to think of the quickest and easiest way to get to them, while packing his bag and motioning for Jim to do the same.

"Deuce is fine. Just worried."

"Then who?"

"Sammy. He went to the bathroom to get…" On his end Mac paused to evaluate what he had just learned and had to sit down. Jim stopped as well and waited for Mac to tell him what was going on.

"I thought you boys were in Dallas! What is Samuel doing there?" He stood up and grabbed his bag and keys. Mac and Jim walked out of the house and got into their respective vehicles.

"He called me yesterday asking about Deuce. Dad he was really scared and he showed up this morning and collapsed!" Caleb was pacing as Dean sat beside Sam holding onto his hand muttering softly trying to wake Sam up. Caleb had to will himself not to cry at the sight of the once energetic powerhouse that was Sam lying there so still and vulnerable. And seeing Dean come apart like that, made Caleb regret ever being angry with Sam to begin with. It was obvious now that Sam never meant to hurt Dean by leaving, after all he came all this way to make sure Dean was safe from something and as soon as Sammy was better he would apologize.

"Caleb?" He realized that his dad had said something while he was staring at the brothers…his brothers and what Mac said was probably important.

"Dad just get here as quick as you can." And with that Caleb hung up. Dean looked up when Caleb shut his phone. He hadn't even known Caleb called anyone.

"Mac and Jim are on their way." He said before Dean could open his mouth. Dean nodded and Caleb squeezed his shoulder.

"We'll fix this Deuce. Nothing is taking Sammy away again. I promise you that."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

It took Mac a little over five hours to get from Jim's farm to the boys location. He got out of his car just as Jim pulled up behind him. Nodding they walked up to room 401 where Caleb threw open the door and ushered them in. Mac and Jim gasped at the sight of Sam lying there. His skin was now rosy with fever and every couple of seconds his muscles would clench like he was in pain. Judging by the ice surrounding him, it was obvious that both men were doing everything they could to keep his fever down. Mac quickly moved to the bed to check Sam's vitals as Jim turned to Caleb.

"Tell me what Samuel was doing right before he collapsed." Caleb ran a hand over his face and shrugged.

"I punched the wall because I got mad, Sam walked into the bathroom, got the first aid kit and came out." Jim nodded and walked to the bathroom. He crouched down to look around the area where Sam had landed. Lying near the door was a small dart with what Jim believed to be Sam's blood on the end. He picked it up carefully and sniffed.

"Smells like some kind of drug." He glanced at Mac who nodded.

"We should get Sam to the farm and contact Joshua to analyze that dart." Mac said standing up. Caleb and Dean nodded as they began to pack their stuff occasionally sending quick glances at Sam. Mac gently lifted Sam off the bed and began to carry him to the impala making sure not to cause him any further harm. The Guardian stood up and gazed around the room, silently promising that he would personally see to it that the one responsible for harming his boy would be taken care of. Personally.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Dad,

Hey. How are you doing? Look Dad I just….

-Sam

This is the letter that never got sent.

show Jared Padalecki hosted on MTV…. It's a joke people…laugh!

TBC...

Plz Review...Really, press the little button down there and leave a review.


	5. Mac

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

**Summary**: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

**A/N**: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this. Thank you to my wonderful beta Flaming Telepaths I heart you!

**Key**:

_thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 4

Last time:

…_The Guardian stood up and gazed around the room, silently promising that he would personally see to it that the one responsible for harming his boy would be taken care of. Personally._

Now:

By the time they arrived at the farm, Joshua had already set up everything he needed to analyze the dart and hopefully make an antidote. Caleb carried Sam in and laid him on the bed while Dean helped Mac to set up an IV to keep Sam nourished while he was unconscious.

Jim watched Joshua run the sample of the drug[making sure that he didn't accidentally inject himself. He sighed and thought about the letter he had received from Sam. It hurt him to know that something was wrong and not be able to tell Dean anything about it.

Jim couldn't believe that someone had gotten close enough to shoot that dart or even rig something to shoot it. "Jim!" he was shaken from his thoughts by Joshua's shout. He quickly moved from the door to Joshua's side.

"What is it?" Jim didn't like the troubled look on Joshua's face. By the time the others had entered, having heard Joshua shout for Jim, Dean looked like he was going to have a fit and attack Joshua for making them wait this long.

"I've actually seen this before, only not in such a concentrated amount. It's a very rare and complex potion, used by witches to cause pain to men that have rejected them. It causes extreme fever accompanied by muscle spasms. The problem is that it takes three days to make the antidote but…" He trailed off looking at Dean with sympathy and pain.

"But what?" Dean was bordering hysteria thinking of all the possible outcomes, "And who would know that Sam was even going to be with us? And when did he reject a witch?"

"The fever will get bad. Really bad… In other words it will kill him before I can make it." Dean sat down heavily. Mac, Jim, and Caleb paled and tears welled in their eyes. They couldn't believe that they were going to loose, as everyone considered Sam, their baby. Standing up from where he had sat in shock, Dean glared with new determination that only came about when Sam was in danger.

"What do you need?" Joshua was actually surprised that Dean was willing to accept his help and found that he didn't really care. He wanted Sam better, just like the rest of them.

"I have the Odessa root and the Van Van oil. We just need three drops of the infected blood, 2 drops of his mother's and father's blood each, wormwood and a vomit inducing agent." At the mention of needing Mary's blood, everyone visibly sagged.

"How can we get Mom's blood?" Dean looked thoroughly defeated; "We have the rest and how about Dad? He never answers his phone when he's on a hunt!" By now Dean was ready to take a plane anywhere to help his baby brother. Caleb actually rolled his eyes at Dean.

"Deuce, chill out. We don't need your parents." They all looked at him like he was crazy.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Fire. Heat. Pain.

_Dean!_ Sam sat up with a gasp. Blinking he looked around for his brother and Caleb. He was in a field that stretched on forever. In the distance there were smoldering cars and abandoned vehicles.

"You aren't the one I wanted!" Sam turned quickly and got into a fighting stance. Standing there was a women. She was about five foot four with long black hair. She wore jeans and a black t-shirt. By the look on her face Sam could tell that she was pissed.

"Who are you?" he asked " What did you want with my brother?" her sea green eyes widened and she began to laugh evilly.

"Well, well, well, you must be Sammy." Sam slowly backed away while trying to get a grasp on what was happening. "Now what are you doing here? Deanie said that you were away at school in California." It suddenly hit him.

"You're the one. You were going to drug him because he rejected you." His vision actually made sense now. He had thought that the demon was going to kidnap and torture Dean, but it was just a witch.

She glared and threw a fireball at him. Sam dodged but got hit in the shoulder.

"He was all over me until his friend told him that you called and were freaking out." She stalked over to where he was and threw him to the ground. "So it's really your fault that I had to do this, but since you're here I can torture you instead of Deanie and this is going to make him suffer even worse than what I originally had in mind." She flicked her wrists and vines tied Sam to the ground. She powered up another fireball and threw it at his leg.

'_**Dean' **__'Dean'_

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

'_**Dean' **__'Dean'_

Dean and Caleb looked up from where Joshua had the antidote simmering. They were waiting for Joshua to add Dean's blood to the antidote. Caleb had actually had the bright idea of using Dean's blood instead of Mary and John's because he had both in him. They looked over at Sam hoping that he had woken up. They were disappointed to find that he hadn't.

"Sammy?"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Mac,

Hey, I am sorry that I ignored you when you came to graduation freshman year. I was so stupid in thinking that I could forget you guys and push you out of my life. Please forgive me. I wrote this for Dean, so I hope you can give it to him at some point.

My Brother

I have to go

But would love to stay

These things in life

Don't go my way.

You'll be fine

On your own

I made sure of it.

One day I'll be home

You can be sure.

Your heart will grieve

Till you find the cure.

Be safe my brother

I'll find you soon.

Love,

Sam

TBC...

Plz Review...Really, press the little button down there and leave a review.


	6. Bobby

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

**Summary**: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

**A/N**: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this.

I want to thank you all for your patience with me, and I would also like to thank my fantastic beta Flaming Telepaths for continuing to put up with my grammatical errors with out complaint and for giving the crazy chick a name. Also, if you don't like Sammy torture of any kind, please wait for the next chapter. 3 Samie

**Key**:

_thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 6

Last time:

…_They looked over at Sam hoping that he had woken up. They were disappointed to find that he hadn't._

"_Sammy?"_

Now:

"Sammy?"

Mac, Jim, and Joshua looked up from where they were scoring through books to find a quicker solution. Caleb and Dean had launched themselves across the room to Sam's side as he started convulsing. Mac rushed over and quickly slipped into doctor mode. He injected a mild sedative to calm him and checked over his vitals. Mac also noticed that Sam had a fever and hoped that he could bring it down before it got too high.

"Jim, get a cold bath running. Joshua, go and get lots of ice. We need to wrap him up in it first."

They ran off to do what they were told when Caleb and Dean suddenly collapsed. Mac looked over at them and found Caleb grasping Dean and Sam's hands in his own. Mac mentally sighed and ran a hand over his face in frustration as he realized what they'd done.

"He took them into Sam's mind," Mac said at Jim and Joshua's questioning gaze. "Whether it was intentional or not, I don't know." They nodded and went about getting only the ice because they could no longer move Sam to the bathroom. Mac gently ran a hand over each of the boys' hair and silently prayed that they would be okay.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The first thing that Dean became aware of was the fact that he was no longer at Jim's, but was in a field. "ngh" Someone groaned. Dean looked over quickly and found Caleb sitting up and looking around.

"Dude where are we?" At first Caleb looked at Dean like he was crazy, but then he noticed the field.

"I have no idea. We were supposed to be in Sammy's head, but…"

"But what?! This isn't it?" Caleb sighed and put his hands on Dean's shoulders to calm him down.

"It _is_ Sammy, but usually his mind is a very complex and organized library." He paused and looked around again, "Someone else is controlling this place. I think it might be the one that poisoned him." Seeing that Dean was getting agitated, Caleb started walking over to some disturbances on the ground.

"Deuce! I found track marks!" Dean ran over to him and noticed a rock with blood drops on it.

"Sammy?" Dean quickly moved for his kneeling position and walked further down the trail. Caleb followed, trying to sense Sam's psychic trail. He just couldn't shake the feeling that they were going to find Sam in a worse state than what his physical body was in and they might not be able to save him this time.

"Damien!"

Caleb moved over to Dean's side and touched the small blood pool at their feet. As soon as his fingertips touched it he felt everything that Sam had felt and passed out from the amount of pain that he sensed.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Aww…is little Sammy hurting?" Melanie, the crazy chick that poisoned him asked in a sweet, condescending voice. Sam glared up at her for his position on the floor, or at least he tried to glare, but seeing as how she drugged him yet again to keep him weak, it kind of lost purpose. She walked around him with a container of salt. It seemed ironic to him that one of the things that he counted on to protect him from evil was currently being used to torture him. Sam tensed up as Melanie tilted the container and the white crystalline compounds fell into the five-inch long knife wound in his side. He bit his lip to keep from screaming, but it didn't stop tears of pain from falling down his face.

'**Dean!'**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

'**Dean!'**

Dean looked up from where he was crouched beside Caleb and frantically searched for his baby brother. He stood up, pulling Caleb up as he went. Frantically he checked Caleb over for any open wounds. For a minute he thought that Caleb was going to die and that scared him more than he already was. Seeing that he was just shaken up, Dean looked around for a way to find Sam.

"Damien, can you sense Sammy yet?" Caleb shook his head trying to clear the cobwebs from the fall. Dean sighed and started walking in the direction in which he hoped that Sam was in.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

He was in a beautiful field near the ocean, waves gently lapping against the shore.

"Hello John." A familiar voice called from behind. John quickly turned around and saw the one person that he was sure he would never see again.

"Mary." He breathed out and pulled her into a tight hug. She hugged him back then pulled away, her expression serious.

"There isn't much time. Sammy is dying." John felt like somebody had just stuck a knife in his gut. He shook his head and backed away.

"No. He can't… He's safe at school." John looked at Mary like he was willing her to laugh and say that it was a joke. He looked at his feet when she shook her head. John felt tears well up in his eyes. Sammy couldn't die. He thought Sammy was safe. He was at school with his friends and that pretty blonde girl he was always with.

"He came back," she replied. John looked up quickly and laughed.

"What would make him come back? He's a selfish son of a bitch!" Mary glared at him and he looked away sheepishly.

"Dean was in trouble. He's dying because he was protecting his brother like Dean has always done for him." John backed away as she poked him in the chest. "Now, wake your stubborn ass up and go to your son. He needs you." John laughed.

"No he doesn't. Sam doesn't need anyone. He made that perfectly clear when he left!" Mary glared harder and did something that nobody has had the guts to do for the last twenty-one years.

**SLAP!**

John touched his stinging cheek and stared at Mary.

"Sam needs you to remind him that he is strong and is still loved. He actually believes that everyone hates him for leaving when you don't even know the real reason he left." John looked confused.

"And what exactly is the real reason?" He asked.

Mary sighed and looked away, "Only Sam can tell you that, but you have to hurry. I don't think he has too much longer."

"Where?"

"Jim Murphy's farm."

John woke up with a gasp.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"No one will save you." "No one cares." "You should have stayed away." "It's all your fault." "They will all die because of you."

Sam tried to block out Melanie's voice but was finding it hard to do. Tear leaked out and started to believe for the first time that Dean had abandoned him. Melanie cackled as she saw the fight leave Sam's eyes and knew that she had won. Dean will loose his brother and regret ever leaving her out to dry when Sam called. Getting up from where she was sitting beside his head, she went over to a cabinet and pulled out a syringe full of glowing pink liquid.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Dean and Caleb had been walking for a while when Caleb collapsed in pain. Dean caught him as he fell and watched in fright as Caleb seized in his arms.

"Damien!"

Caleb stopped after a few minutes and sat up, wincing in pain as the vision left.

"Damien?" Caleb looked at Dean with tears in his eyes.

"Sammy is giving up Deuce. I've never seen him look that defeated before." He stood up and groaned as the once beautiful meadow turned into a dark, desolate desert.

"We have to hurry."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Blood quickly filled the vial that Mac was using to draw the blood from Dean for the potion. He was getting extremely worried because for a few moments it was looking like Caleb would experience everything that happened to Sam. He was just finishing when the door was thrown open and in ran John and Bobby.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Dear Bobby,

I know that it has been a while since we last spoke and like everyone else you probably hate me and won't read this letter, but I need your help. For the last couple of days I have been having this reoccurring dream about Dean and I need to stop it. Can you look through your books and find anything that would use a poisoned dart? I know, weird question, but if I'm right, Dean is in danger. Don't tell anyone in case I'm just crazy. Call me if you find any thing.

Sam Winchester

650-555-3780

TBC...

Plz Review...Really, press the little button down there and leave a review.


	7. Joshua

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

**Summary**: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

**A/N**: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this.

I will be posting what was going on with Sam in the next chapter. Also I want to thank CMT1992 for the idea of Sam writing to Joshua. And of course, thanks to Flaming Telepaths for putting up with my rambling! 3 Samie

**Key**:

_thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 7

Last time:

… _He was just finishing when the door was thrown open and in ran John and Bobby._

Now:

Mac looked up in surprise. _No, there was no way that John and bobby knew. They just couldn't. Unless…No. Jim wouldn't, _he thought while trying to come up with a suitable lie to tell John for why he was taking blood out of his eldest son and why said son was unconscious along with Sam and Caleb.

"Mackland, I need that…" Joshua trailed off upon seeing John as he walked into the room. If Joshua was smart he would have turned around and ran out the door but he didn't causing John to round on him.

"What happened to them?" John hissed while glaring at anyone who dared to move. Joshua had a quick flash of foam dribbling from John's mouth. He glanced at Mac and Bobby, the latter doubled over laughing at Joshua's impersonation of a deer in the headlights. Thankfully for him, Jim had chosen that moment to enter the room.

"Johnathan, Bobby, what brings you here?" He asked in a calm and relaxed manner. Everyone looked at him like he was insane. Bobby, finally ceasing his laughter, walked over to the boys and squeezed each of their hands.

"What. Happened. To. Them?" John asked, punctuating each word with barely contained anger. Jim regarded him coolly and then turned his attention to Joshua.

"Finish the antidote." Joshua nodded, took the vial from Mac and walked back to the kitchen. John watched him walk off then rounded on Jim. Jim for the most part was not impressed. He was getting tired of John not being there for Sam and Dean while blaming everything he could on those around him. Jim silently regarded John for a while but was interrupted by Dean and Caleb gasping for breath as they sat up.

"Ace? Junior?" John started toward them but stopped when they glared at him and all but flew over to Sam. John watched as Caleb gently lifted Sam's torso so that Dean could sit on the bed. When he was situated Caleb lowered Sam down onto Dean's lap and then went to the bathroom where retching could be heard. Dean looked up from watching Sam as Joshua came into the room with a syringe full of muddy brown liquid. Glancing at John to gauge his response to him helping Sam, Joshua handed the syringe to Mac and went over to help Dean hold Sam down.

"He's going to seize for a couple moments after it's administered. But that's only because of it purging the foreign substance from his body," Joshua said while grabbing Sam's feet. Mac carefully administered the injection and they all waited as Sam started convulsing in Dean and Joshua's arms. (a/n: I would have added more detail but I am terrified of needles and would have started to freak. Sorry!) Dean was having a hard time controlling his urge to cry. **'Come on Sammy! Fight. Don't do this.'**

Caleb walked back into the room and stared in shock. Sammy, the runt of the pack was looking more vulnerable than Caleb had even seen him, even more than the time Duran poisoned him. Caleb had to stop thinking then because an idea formed that he didn't like. He ran quickly from the room much to the confusion of the others. But just as quickly as he left he returned with Sam's laptop in his hands. As he entered the room he could feel something leave Sam. Caleb concentrated and found that Melanie was gone. Still, he was very concerned that Sam hadn't woken up yet.

'Damien?" Caleb looked up from Sam to Dean and was very shocked at how open he was being.

_**Can you reach him?**_

Caleb shook his head and Dean let out a choked sob. Sighing, Caleb sat down and got online. He slammed his fist onto the table at what he found. Bobby walked over and laid his hand on Caleb's shoulder.

"You okay Junior?" Caleb looked up at him and tried to keep the tears at bay.

"Sam said Melanie. And Deuce recognized her as the chick he was going to hook up with the night before Sam was poisoned. I think she might be related to the Elvira wannabe Duran had with him. She looks so much like her." Caleb looked around and saw stunned faces. He took notice that Sam had stopped convulsing. Caleb focused in on Dean's face and didn't like what he saw; nothing. The only time Dean hid absolutely everything was when he was hunting something that had hurt his brother. Suffice to say, Caleb was terrified because a quick second later it was replaced with a soft look as Dean's gaze settled on Sam. Gently, Dean moved Sam from his lap, placed him on the bed and got up. He regarded everyone silently and let his gaze linger on John.

"Watch over him." And the promise of what would happen to John if he failed had John nodding. "Damien, we're going to Texas." Dean turned and walked out the door with Caleb and, surprisingly, Joshua right behind him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

It took them a little over eight hours to get down to the bar in Texas. When they got out of the Impala Joshua immediately went around back to head off anyone going that way. Dean and Caleb went into the bar via the front door and were unsurprised to find Melanie missing. Looking around, Dean spotted the bartender that was working the last time he was here. He casually walked over and sat at the bar while Caleb sat at an empty table beside the entrance. Looking down the back hall Dean noticed Joshua take position and nodded discreetly.

"What can I getcha?" Dean glanced at Caleb from the corner of his eye, then quickly locked eyes with the bartender. Dean pulled out the picture of Melanie that Caleb had drawn on the way here. Dean had to admit Caleb was great. The drawing looked as if someone had taken a black and white photo.

"You can tell me where I can find her." The bartender, who Dean had the vague memory of being named Eddie, looked down at it and then quickly looked away.

"I never seen her before." Dean nodded and made to walk away but quickly turned back and grabbed Eddie by the neck. Eddie's eyes grew comically wide as Dean slammed his face against the bar top. As if by cue Caleb and Joshua pulled out their guns and stood in the doorways. The few people that were in the bar sat completely still, even the people with their own guns. Dean dragged Eddie out from behind the bar and threw him on the floor. Caleb looked at Dean and sighed.

"Deuce!" Dean looked up at him while pushing his foot on Eddie's throat.

'He needs to be alive to tell us where the bitch is.' Dean sighed and released Eddie much to the dismay of Joshua, who was ironically enjoying helping Dean and Caleb.

"Dean," Joshua spoke from behind him. Dean turned around confident, that Eddie wouldn't get passed Caleb. "Tie him up. We'll take him with us." At Dean's wondering gaze, Joshua threw him a roll of duct tape he had found in the back room. Dean caught it and looked down at Eddie with a dangerous glint in his eyes as he started to rip off a piece of tape.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Meanwhile:

John watched in silence as Dean, Caleb and Joshua left. Absent mindedly, he stroked Sam's sweat drenched hair. He couldn't believe that his baby might die and he could do nothing to stop it. John was startled from his reverie as Scout climbed up onto the bed and laid down beside Sam. John smiled as he remembered all the trouble Scout and Sam had gotten into over the years. Then he remembered the fight. _I told him to leave and never come back. Now he might die and I never got to apologize. _Tears slowly made their way down John's face as he pulled Sam into his arms and rocked him slowly. John pressed a kiss into Sam's hair and softly started to sing a song that he hadn't even thought about, let alone heard since Sam was sixteen.

Close your eyes baby boy

Everything's gonna be okay.

I can make the bad things disappear.

You will feel like new

Because Angels are watching over you.

Jim, Mac, and Bobby all stood quietly at the doorway watching with tears in their eyes as their friend fell apart while their baby was still dying in his arms. Jim continued to send prayers to whoever was listening that Sam wouldn't be taken from them again. He didn't think that any of them could bare it.

Rest your head on my heart

It will make you feel safe and warm.

My love will show you the way back home.

You will be alright

And I'm holding tight.

Angels are watching over you.

John placed another kiss on Sam's sweaty head and continued to rock him. _Please. Don't take him from me. _John looked up at the ceiling. _Mary, don't let them take my baby from me, not when I finally got him back. _John laid his head on Sam's._ Please._

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

'Hmph!' Eddie grunted when he hit the ground. Dean had driven the four of them to a little clearing in the woods. Caleb and Dean threw Eddie from the car as Joshua got a bag from the trunk. Eddie looked fearfully up at Dean and Caleb, causing Caleb much amusement. Here was a guy that had a good two inches and 250 pounds on Dean and he was trembling at the sight of him. Dean however was not amused.

"Where is she?" Eddie shook his head and tried to crawl away. He was, however, unaware that Joshua had moved behind him and was blocking his path.

"I don't know!" Eddie shouted, trying to evade the boys. Dean glared harder and held out a hand to Joshua. Joshua grinned coldly and reached into the bag. He pulled out a machete and handed it to Dean. Caleb hung back searching Eddie's mind as Dean lifted the weapon above his head.

_No! Please! _ Caleb dug deeper past Eddie's psychic pleas and finally found what he was looking for.

"I got it!" Dean and Joshua looked over at Caleb who was grasping his temples in obvious pain. Dean looked down at Eddie and kicked him in the head, knocking him out instantly. Caleb briefly entertained the thought that had Sam not been the one in trouble, they would not have gone this far.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Turn left here!" Caleb shouted at Dean as they almost sped by the house that Melanie was occupying. As soon as Dean shifted into park they all jumped out of the car and crept up to the house. Dean peered into the window and saw Melanie mixing something on the coffee table. He motioned for Caleb and Joshua to sneak in through the side and back doors. When they were in position Dean, Josh, and Caleb kicked in the doors and stormed inside, guns immediately trained on Melanie. She looked up in obvious surprise that immediately turned into disgust. But her disgust quickly turned into panic as they moved closer to her and Dean clicked off the gun's safety.

"Why?" He asked her in a hard voice that betrayed no emotion. Melanie let out a shrieking laugh and stood up.

"Why?! You want to know why?"

"That would be why he just asked bitch," Joshua said coldly from behind her. Dean and Caleb briefly exchanged a glance, both wondering why Joshua cared so much. Melanie just glared as Joshua put the barrel of the gun against her right temple.

"Answer the question." Melanie must have finally realized the position that she put herself in and believed that they would kill her without blinking.

"It wasn't supposed to be him," she said in a rush as all three started to pull the triggers. Joshua moved his gun away from here head and motioned for her to continue.

"It was meant to be you." Caleb sucked in a breath as she stared at Dean. Dean was still unimpressed.

"Why?"

"Because you left me! I was all ready to have fun and you left because little brother called." Melanie seemed to have forgotten that there were three guns trained on her as she started pacing.

"I'm actually glad it was him. He deserved everything he got. After all, you were complaining about how wittle Sammy left you alone to follow his dreams," she mocked Dean's eyes widened as she spoke. He was starting to believe that it was his fault.

"It was obvious from what you told me that he doesn't care. I mean really, what is _so_ great about having a normal life? Didn't you do a good enough job with him growing up?"

"Yeah. He did."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Joshua,

Okay, I know that you don't like me but I need your help. The reason I am asking you is because you know about potions and stuff like that. I've been having dreams lately. Dreams about Dean. They are always the same. Dean gets shot with a dart. I don't know what is on it so this is where you come in. When he got shot he collapsed then started burning up roughly about 4 or 5 hours later he started to convulse in pain. Then after about 3 days he died. Do you have any idea of what it could be and how to save him?

Please Joshua! I can't lose my brother. Not after everything that I have done to keep him safe.

Call me if you can help,

Sam Winchester

650-555-3780

Joshua looked over the letter again, trying to ignore the evidence of Sam's dried tears on the page smearing some of the words. He stood up and went over to his bookshelf. Three hours later he found it. He had just reached for his phone when it rang. Mac's cell number flashed across the screen.

TBC...

Plz Review...Really, press the little button down there and leave a review.


	8. Jess

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

**Summary**: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback

**A/N**: this is completely made up from a dream that I had, only I'm not in this.

Hey everyone! I am soo sorry for the delayed post but I had a major block and then got super busy with school. But I am block free and Finals are over!! Thanks for your patience and love. And thanks to my beta, whom I love very much, Flaming Telepaths and CMT1992 for sending me messages reminding me that people actually like this story, and a superly special thanks to Ridley and Tidia for giving me permission to use excerpts from their stories even though I only used one. I would also like to apologize if there is someone in the word with the name Melanie Travers. I just thought of the name and mean nothing by it. Thank you! -XOXO Samie

**Key**:

_thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 8 (I think)

Last time:

… "_It was obvious from what you told me that he doesn't care. I mean really, what is so great about having a normal life? Didn't you do a good enough job with him growing up?"_

"_Yeah. He did."_

Now:

With Sam while last chapter was happening:

_Dean? _Sam tried to lift his head from the floor and look for his brother, but Dean was no where around. Sam sagged back down in defeat and groaned when his injuries protested the movement. _Dean isn't here. He isn't coming._ Sam jerked in surprise when he heard laughter coming from behind him.

"See, I told you that no one was coming for you. Hahaha. No body loves whittle Sammy enough to save him." Melanie appeared next him with a device behind her. _Oh God!_ Sam winced in pain as she floated him onto the table. She then proceeded to strap his arms above his head, his feet to the table, and she even put a brace on his face so that he couldn't move.

"_No! Please!" _Sam screamed as he started to struggle as she turned on the tap attached to the top of the table. A drop of water fell onto the center of his forehead followed by another two seconds later.

"On the off chance that your stupid brother does somehow manage to find and create the antidote…"

"He will. You don't know my brother."

"Who are you trying to convince Sammy? Me? Or you?" Melanie laughed as Sam's hopeful face fell.

"He's trying to convince you!" Melanie turned around quickly toward the voice, incidentally shutting off the tap as her hand fell. She was shocked to see Dean and Caleb standing in the kicked in doorway. Dean gasped as recognition set in and he silently cursed himself.

"Dean!" Sam cried out as he saw Dean and Caleb out of the corner of his eye. Dean grimaced as he looked over at Sam's broken body. He had a deep gash in his side from what Dean guessed to be a knife, there was a bone sticking out of his right arm and multiple cuts and bruises on his arms and face. Caleb laid a hand on Dean's arm to calm him down. But before either of them could react, Melanie slammed the plunger of the syringe that she had into Sam's chest and glowing pink liquid quickly made its way into his heart.

As soon as the liquid disappeared from the syringe, Dean and Caleb disappeared as well. Sam sagged in defeat as Melanie picked up a dagger and poised it over his knee. Sam screamed as the blade tore through skin, muscle, and bone. Blood seeped from the new wound as Melanie disappeared with a shocked look on her face. Sam blissfully passed out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Sam finally came to, he was shocked to here singing coming from all around, but Melanie was nowhere to be found.

"Dean?" Sam called out as he realized where he had heard this song before. Dean had sung it to him every time he had a nightmare as a child. Dean told him that their mother has sung it to them when she put them to bed.

"Dean! Caleb!" Sam struggled to sit up and was surprised to find that his injuries and restraints were gone. When he finally managed to stand up, Sam made his way to the door. Stepping through it he noticed that the usual library motif was gone, replaced with a barren wasteland. Sighing, he started trudging through the sand.

Sam didn't know how long he had been walking when he heard a child crying. Quickly he ran toward the sound only to find… him? Sitting in front of him was a seven-year-old version of himself. Crouching down next to him, Sam noticed that Sammy was scared. Sammy looked up at Sam with trepidation.

"Hey buddy what's wrong?" Sam asked gently. _What in the hell is going on? _

"De is hurt and its all my fault!" Sammy cried and flung himself into Sam's arms. Sam sat there stunned.

"How is it your fault Sammy?" Sammy looked up at Sam with watery eyes. Then all of the sudden a vision played out in front of them.

_Rain started to fall heavier as Dean grabbed WooBee, stuffing him under his arm to free up his hands. He pulled out the old Red Sox ball cap he had stuffed in on a whim and pulled it down on his head. At least it would keep the water out of his eyes as he tried to count the last of his cash._

The heavy, unexpected hand on his shoulder startled him enough to drop WooBee. He whirled around, his ingrained defenses kicking in. Dean was expecting a security guard at the worst, his unwanted grandfather at the least. But it was neither, and coming face to face with the startling white mask right out of one of the slice and dice flicks he and Caleb would watch and make fun of had his mind blanking out in a white hot panic. "What the…

Unlike the sloth-like, steadfast monsters in the slasher films, this thing moved incredibly fast. It struck Dean so hard across the face that he was spun around before his knees hit the cement walkway, the bone-jarring impact stunning him, sending his money scattering across the wet pavement.

Before he had a chance to recover, the thing's claws clamped around his wrist in a crushing grip, jerking him to his feet once more only to deliver another vicious blow he couldn't block. He almost screamed, called out for help. But Dean had been taught that such behavior did nothing but cause his own panic to rise, cloud his thinking, and waste valuable energy that he could use for his defense. His father would be disappointed.

Whether it was the thought of John Winchester, the bitter taste of blood, or the sudden realization he was alone and in real and mortal danger, Dean wasn't sure; but his well-honed instincts kicked in and he lashed out with this feet.

Dean felt the well placed kick connect with his target and was released, his body once again striking the unforgiving ground. Dean lifted his head, catching sight of a stand of trees in the distance. It might give him the camouflage he would need to escape the predator. Without a moment's hesitation he pushed himself to his knees and took off in a sprint towards the shelter.

"If he hadn't brought me my dragons he would have been safe!" Sam looked down at the little boy in his arms. He remembered feeling like that. He even feels like that now, if he hadn't left for college then Dean would have probably slept with Melanie then all of this could have been avoided. Heck they might not have even been in town as long as Caleb and Dean had been.

"Looks like we do this a lot, don't we?" Sammy looked up questioningly so Sam continued, "We try to do something that will keep him safe and we end up hurting him more than what originally would have happened."

"De needs to know why we left Sam. He needs to know that we still need him!" Sammy started to jump up and pull on Sam's arm. Sam got up and allowed Sammy to drag him toward a building. Sam recognized the place and began to feel uneasy about it being in the middle of a wasteland.

"Why are we at Jim's?" Sammy giggled at Sam and pulled him inside. What Sam saw shocked him. There he lay on his bed with John holding onto him, singing. Sammy smiled widely at the sight. Sam could feel his heart break at the sight of his dad's tears.

"Alright squirt, how do I get back into my body?" Sammy rolled his eyes and pushed Sam toward his body.

"You just have to want to go back silly." Sam shut his eyes and willed himself to wake up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John jumped as Sam sat up gasping.

"Mac!" John yelled as he tried to push Sam back down. Ignoring John's hands and the others rushing into the room, Sam stood up and began to get dressed.

"Sammy?" Sighing, Sam turned to face them and smiled. Mac, Jim, Bobby and John all had to fight to keep their tears at bay at the sight of that beautiful smile that they had though for sure they would never see again. Sam looked over at John who had allowed his tears to fall. And then, to everyone's shock, Sam walked over to John and sank into his father's strong embrace like he did many years ago.

"I'm sorry dad. I'm so sorry." John broke out of his shock as he felt Sam starting to shake in his arms. John tightened his embrace and began to whisper calming words into Sam's ear.

"Mac, call the boys," Jim said quietly as though he thought that if he spoke just then he would disrupt the scene in front of them, which unfortunately, it did. Sam pulled back and finally looked around.

"Where's Dean?" Mac snapped his phone shut with a groan. He just knew something bad was going to happen.

"None of them are answering." Sam shot a look at Mac as he stood up and walked out the door. Bobby, looking like he was trying not to laugh, followed him as the other men sat there looking confused. Suddenly, they all jumped up and ran after Sam and Bobby.

"Where is he Bobby?" Sam asked tiredly as he searched for his father's keys. Bobby looked doubtful for a moment then handed Sam the keys from his pocket.

"Texas," he answered. And that was all Bobby needed to say as Sam ran outside and got into John's truck. John jumped into the passenger seat just as Sam started to drive away. It was clear that he was still too relieved that his son was actually alive to care that Sam was driving and not himself.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John vaguely entertained the notion that he should give Sam lessons on driving as they pulled into a bar's parking lot nearly nine hours later, unknown to him that Dean made the twelve-hour trip in eight hours. Bobby, Jim, Mac, John, and Sam all walked inside and noticed that everyone was a little more than freaked out. Apparently Captain Onehelluvabigbrother had struck again, this time leaving a trail of quivering people behind. John was shocked, he had seen Dean go crazy when his brother had been hurt before but this was a whole different thing. He wondered if he made a mistake in raising his boys to be as close as they are. Sam, however, was slightly amused to see that the biker gang had urine stains on their pants. He walked over to a group and tapped one guy on the shoulder. The guy turned to him and let out a sigh of relief. Clearly he expected it to be someone else.

"Have any of you seen three guys around here recently? One would be about…" The guy's frantic nodding cut off Sam, who briefly wondered if this guy had been a bobble head in a past life. Shaking his head slightly, Sam focused in on the conversation.

"They took Eddie." Sam's confusion must have shown because he elaborated, "The bartender. They showed him a picture. I guess Eddie didn't tell them what they wanted to know because they tied him up and took him with them."

"Do you know where they went or who they were looking for?" Sam asked and gave the group his best puppy face.

"Melanie Travers," a woman from behind the biker answered. Sam looked at her and she shrank away until Sam gave her a dimpled smile.

"Do you know where I can find her?" She nodded and rattled off the address, smiling when Sam actually thanked her. John shook his head. _I forgot how easy it was for Sammy to get information out of people. And just from looking at them._

They all walked out and could feel the collective sigh of relief as the door swung shut behind them, a fact Bobby wasn't going to forget anytime soon. _Now I can finally get them to let go of that damn mongoose incident._

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It took them a half hour to get to Melanie's house and noticed the Impala sitting in the driveway. They quickly got out of their vehicles and carefully crept up to the house. Sam moved quickly alongside Bobby as Jim, John and Mac went around the sides. Sam and Bobby positioned themselves on either side of the door and waited for John's signal. Sam tensed when the conversation flowed through the door.

"It wasn't supposed to be him." There was a momentary lull in the conversation. Then he heard her say something that made his blood boil. "It was supposed to be you." Bobby sent Sam a warning look and Sam backed down to resume waiting.

"Why?" Sam heard Dean ask. Strangely enough he sounded calmer than Sam thought he would.

"You left me! We were having a good time and you left because your stupid little brother called." Sam's blood ran cold. Dean would have been hurt because of him. Again. "I'm actually glad it was him. He deserved everything he got. After all weren't you the one complaining about how Sammy left you all alone, and for what? To go to college?" Bobby glanced over to Sam and became concerned over the self-loathing look on Sam's face.

_Dean hates me._ Sam visibly deflated at her words because he knew it was true. _Well, I'll be damned if she hurts Dean anymore. _And with that thought he stood to his full height.

"It was obvious from what you told me that he doesn't care about any one but himself. I mean really, what is so great about having a normal life? Didn't you do a good enough job raising him?" _Oh fuck it!_ Sam thought and pushed open the door, gun trained on Melanie, ignoring Bobby's frustrated eye roll.

"Yeah, he did," Sam said. Melanie, Dean, Caleb and Joshua all looked startled to see him and he could swear he heard Melanie's hopes of getting out alive come crashing down around her.

"Sammy?" Sam turned his attention to Dean and noticed that he was crying. Sam was confused. Dean doesn't cry. Melanie, it seems, took this opportunity to snap out of her shock.

"Aww… Sammy, you're looking good. Are you feeling better?" Sam watched as Dean turned back toward her, gun poised and ready to shoot, and then it happened. Jim, John, Mac and Bobby stormed in just as Joshua knocked Melanie out with the butt of his gun. Sam was surprised to see Dean and Caleb share a smirk.

"Damn Josh. I thought you didn't hit women," Caleb said. Joshua shrugged and looked up; his face was a picture of innocence.

"What are you talking about? She fainted."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A door opened in a dark kitchen. A light came on to illuminate a young blonde sitting at the table clutching a letter to her chest as tears flooded down her face.

"Jess?" The young woman looked up into the eyes of her close friend.

"He's gone Becky." She thrust the letter at her. "He's not coming back." Becky opened the letter and silently cursed.

Dear Jess,

I'm sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm not coming back. My family needs me more than I need to be there. I just wanted you to know that I love you and will never forget you. But it's better this way. You can meet someone new and have 2.5 kids with someone that can be there for you fully. Things are happening that I have no control over and you would only get hurt if I stayed. Please do whatever you have to so that you can forget about me. I love you.

Love,

Sam Winchester

Becky pulled Jess into her arms and held her. As much as she wanted to hate Sam, she couldn't. She could tell that it hurt Sam to write that letter. She just hoped that Sam wasn't in any danger.

TBC...

On the Wings of a Phoenix ch3 by Ridley C. James and mention if Mongoose Conspiracy by Tidia

Plz Review...Really, press the little button down there and leave a review.


	9. Help!

Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating but I had major writers block. I have the last chapter written, I just don't have anyone to beta it right now. So I'm looking for two people to beta it for me. If you want to just email me and I'll get back to you.

-SamieWinchester


	10. Mom

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Supernatural/Brotherhood characters. They belong to Eric Kripke and Ridley C. James respectively.

Summary: Letters written by Sam during his time at Stanford. Plz R/R I need feedback.

Sorry for not updating in a while but I've had mega writers block. Have a Merry Chistmas everyone! This Chapter is unbetad so all mistakes are my own.

Key:

_thoughts_

Telepathy:

'**Dean to Sam' **'_**Sam to Dean'**_

'Caleb to Dean' '**Caleb to Sam'**

'_**Dean to Caleb' **_'_Sam to Caleb'_

Chapter 9

Sam looked up from his laptop as Dean walked through the motel door with coffee and donuts.

"Where are the others?" Sam asked. Dean sat down on the other bed and handed Sam one of the coffees.

"Jim, Bobby, and Mac went back to the farm to clean it up before we get there, Joshua is planting evidence to get Melanie locked up longer, I am re-evaluating my taste in women, and Damien is getting the booze.: Sam looked back up at him and Dean quickly averted his eyes.

_Don't ask Sammy, please. Don't ask. _Dean thought as Sam sighed heavily and closed his laptop.

"What about Dad?" Dean squirmed under Sam's inquiring gaze so he stood up and began rummaging through his duffle, pulling out clothes and dumping them on the bed. Unfortunately that meant they were both too distracted to hear the footsteps outside.

"Open Up!"

Sam and Dean jumped at the sound but Dean recovered quick enough to open the door before Caleb kicked it down. Caleb entered, stepping over the salt and put the beer on the dresser. He then looked over at the brothers and winced when Sam pinned him and Dean with the patented Sammy "_I'm waiting" _look. Sighing, Dean sat back down with a beer.

"We don't know where Dad went," Sam opened his mouth to ranr but kept quite as Dean continued, "He took off shortly after Jim did. He said something about Missouri so I called her and she said he was on a case." Dean's heart broke at the lost look on Sam's face. He was suddenly glad that his Dad was nowhere near as he would have gladly put a bullet in him.

"Why woul…" Sam trailed off. Caleb squeezed his fists. He could feel the waves of anger coming from Dean, fueling his own but that was nothing compared to the feelings of self-loathing coming from Sam.

"It's not your fault Runt." Sam looked up at Caleb like he never saw him before.

"Yes it is." Sam said that so matter-of-factly that Dean and Caleb could only stare at Sam.

_He thinks this was his fault? Damn it Dad. How could we let him think that we blamed him. _Dean thought, feeling tears building in his eyes.

"Sammy…" Sam looked up at Dean, tears freely falling as Dean grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug. Caleb smiled to himself and wentoutside to give them some privacy and to make a quick phone call. Dean rocked Sam in his arms, trying to figure out how to make him feel better, while wishing that his Dad was actually around so that Dean could beat the shit out of him..

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Caleb quietly shut the door behind him and Pulled out his phone.

Ring

**Ring**

**Ring**

"You have reached John Winchester. If this is an emergency call my son Dean…." Caleb clicked his phone shut angrily. He couldn't believe how stupid and childish John was being. Suddenly Caleb's phone started to ring.

"Reaves."

"How are the boys?"

"They're fine Mac. Just…"

"Just what Caleb?" Caleb sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, wondering in he gave them enough time.

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Meanwhile with the boys

Sam leaned into Dean's embrace as he tried to get his emotions under control. Dean felt tears well up in his eyes as he watched his baby brother break down in his arms. As gently as he could, Dean moved onto the bed beside Sam without jostling him too much.

"It's not your fault Sammy. None of this is your fault." Sam looked up at Dean with a questioning stare.

"How can you say that Dean?" Sam exclaimed while pulling away from Dean, "If I hadn't been born than Mom never would have died, Dad wouldn't have become a hunter, and you…"

"Would be dead!" Dean interrupted, standing up. Caleb of course chose that moment to walk back inside. Dean and Sam looked over at him and he shrugged helplessly.

"Do you honestly believe that Sammy?" Dean said looking back over at his brother trying to convince him it wasn't his fault. Sam looked slightly uncomfortable. Caleb walked over to them and put his arms on their shoulders.

"We've been recalled," he said as they shot him baffled looks, "Mac said Jim told him that we are to come to the farm to rest." Sam sighed but started to repack his duffle anyway knowing that he couldn't deny one of Jim's orders. As he folded a pair of his jeans, a chain fell to the floor. Dean and Caleb watched as he picked it up and they quickly recognized the item dangling from it. Sam's ring. They continued to watch with baited breath as Sam took it from the chain and slid it onto his right ring finger. Sam looked up at them with a dazzling smile and said, "Let's go home."

Dean and Caleb thought that they could see the guilt and shame lift from him as a warm feelin washed over them and they thought the same thing. Their brother was finally home to stay.

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Dear Mom,

I honestly not sure why I am writing this seeing as how you probably will never read it but, I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me an amazing big brother that jas and will protect me from anything. Even if I get annoyed by it. Thank you for loving me enough to try to protect me from something you couldn't stop. Thank you for watching over us and continuing to protect us and leading us to our great family. Jim, Mac and Bobby are the best Uncle's I could ever ask for and Caleb is a great big brother to Dean and I. Although there are times when both of them make me feel like a five year old again. I love you Mom. I hope you are happy wherever you are.

Love,

Sammy

The End.

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